


The One That I Need

by vahisa1975



Category: hiddlesworth - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-05-07
Packaged: 2018-03-29 11:56:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3895423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vahisa1975/pseuds/vahisa1975
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom and Chris have a secret affair.  But how long can that last?  Just a little oneshot I was inspired to write.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One That I Need

The One That I Need

 

"I'm so happy to see you boys working on the same film again," Diana, Tom's mother smiled at her son and his best friend, Chris.

The Austrailan gave his signature closed mouth grin back to her, his lips stretched all the way up.

"We're not technically in the same film. Tom just has a small cameo roll."

He gestured with his large hand holding a fork toward the dark haired Englishman across from him, the smug smile never leaving his face. The more slender of the two face palmed and shook his head.

"When will you get it straight Chris? I might have a smaller part, but I still have more fans. They're dying to see Loki, even if only for a few seconds."

The grin faded as the amazing blue eyes shown with amusement.

"Thor has his own movies, Loki can't say that."

Tom was about to answer, his mouth open, when Emma, his younger sister, groaned loudly. The noise made everyone look her direction.

"Not this again. Every time we get together, you have the same argument."

A round of chuckles followed as she rolled her eyes. It was true and they all knew it. They were in the middle of filming Avengers Age of Ultron and some of it was right there in England so the actors had taken the opportunity to get together with Tom's family. The two men had become fast friends during the filming of Thor and the first chance they had, the Englishman had been proud to introduce his blonde co worker to his mother and sisters. Chris was charming and fun, quickly winning over the Hiddleston women.

Tonight they were in Tom's flat, sitting around the large, dark wood table in his dining room. A lacy white cloth covered the round surface, emphasizing elegance. The glasses were crystal, filled with red wine and giving them the appearance of rubies. The actor had used his good china, white plates with a simple, elegant silver design. The silverware was real and the napkins linen. Tom didn't have many chances to entertain and his family and friend were worth it.

His dining room was fairly large, a chandalier hanging over the table. A myriad of glass shards hung in strings and caught the light, making tiny rainbows and shimmers when gazed at. A dark colored china cabinet sat against the wall. It was where he kept the good plates when not being used. The glass in the doors made them visible and nice to look at the rest of the time. Everyone was comfortable as plump cushions carressed their bottoms in sturdy wooden chairs. The remnants of dinner littered their plates. It had been braised lamb shanks, roasted red potatoes with rosemary and garlic, and steamed peas in the pod. Chris and Tom had worked together flawlessly in the kitchen, creating a masterpiece.

"I'm sorry I said anything," his mother conceded with a laugh.

"Well, as much fun as I've had tonight, I need to be going," Sarah chimed in.

"I have work in the morning and it's getting late."

"Aw," Chris piped up.

"You have to stay for desert. We made a chocolate cake."

Her eyes grew wide at hearing that.

"A cake? You two seriously made a cake?"

She sighed and gave in.

"Alright, I have to try this."

Both actors stood up excitedly to bring in their culinary creation. In the kitchen they grinned at each other, picking it up together to make sure it didn't fall. A gentle look of affection passed between them so quickly it would never have been noticed. Working simultaneously they were able to get it out and place it in the center of the table. Everyone gasped at the beautifully decorated desert. Chocloate flowers circled the top of the brown icing that covered the whole cake. Dabs of red icing made small roses and green was used for leaves and vines. The men stood proudly next to each other as if showing off a child.

"Wow," Emma finally got out.

Chuckling, the actors took their seats and Tom started to cut it into pieces. The middle of the cake had a layer of chocolate pudding that shimmied as he placed the pieces onto smaller dishes.

"I can't believe you made this," Sarah gaped.

"Death by chocolate," Chris said with a smile, taking his piece as the Englishman handed them out.

Moans and murmurs of delight followed slightly after from the delicious treat. A silence fell over the room, punctuated only by the click of silver on china. Emma finished first, sitting back and patting her belly.

"You fed me too much," she joked.

"I've been meaning to ask, how are Elsa and the children?" Tom's mother interjected, giving Chris an interested scan.

If she noticed his slight hestiation or the fake way he smiled, she didn't say anything. He was an actor after all.

"They're fine, thanks. I can't believe how big they're getting already."

Tom had found a sudden fascination with wiping up some crumbs and kept his blue-green eyes on the tabletop.

"Oh yes, children grow up before you know it. Look at mine, it makes me feel old," she told him with a wink and smile.

The Australian blushed and ducked his head a little.

"You're not old Miss Hiddleston," he said, trying to be chivalrous.

"Nonsense, you're just being kind," she chided him.

"Mom..." Tom whined and she patted his hand.

"Alright, we've had a nice evening, I won't ruin it."

There was a few more minutes of pleasantries before the women had to leave. The men escorted them to the door and offered to walk them to their cars but they insisted they were fine. Tom got kisses to his cheeks and Chris was given hugs. They left the door open and watched as the Englishman's family made it down the stairs and to their vehicles. Only after they pulled out of the parking lot was the door shut and locked. 

The friends turned to each other, so close they could almost feel the heat of their bodies through their clothes. The blonde had on a tight, light colored dress shirt with buttons down the front. It stretched over his broad chest and shoulders, giving away the perfect physique underneath. Tom's green shirt was styled the same but hung more loosley from his tall, lean frame. Both of their hair was longer than normal for the movie, Chris's hanging around his face while Tom's was combed back.

"I thought they'd never leave," the Australian breathed, pulling the smaller man toward him.

His dark haired friend didn't say a word but wrapped his arms around the blonde's neck, leaning in for a kiss. Their lips met softly, the yearning for each other melting away. It had been almost painful to stay separated while his family had been there.

"You were fabulous by the way," Tom complimented the slightly taller actor.

Chris nuzzled his nose against the other man's jaw.

"I was sure I gave everything away when she asked about Elsa," he said with a sigh, pulling back to look into the eyes he loved above any others.

"Nah, you were great."

Tom reluctantly tried to untangled himself the muscular frame but Chris playfully kept him trapped against him until the Englishman started to laugh.

"I have to clean up," he pretended to whine.

"Not tonight," his friend replied seriously with a sparkle to his eyes.

"Come on," the Australian took his hand and brought him to the table.

There he grabbed two glasses and the bottle of wine before guiding the other man outside to his balcony. The air was warm and still, only the sounds of the nearby city breaking through. There was an occassional horn honking or dog barking. The Thames was close enough they could barely hear the water slapping along the banks and smell the moisture clinging to the atmosphere.

"What are you doing?" Tom giggled, knowing how much Chris needed to be alone with him.

He knew because he felt the same way. Placing the glasses on the small metal table out there, the Australian poured wine into them both and handed one to his friend. He took it and they both drank before the blonde came up behind the other man and pulled him close so his back was laying against his chest. He rubbed the slender arms softly and they both gazed at the beautiful old buildings in the distance. It was one of the main reasons Tom stayed in this city. He loved the history and architecture even if it was small and cramped.

"I hate when we can't be together," Chris huffed next to his ear. 

It tickled and he smiled. But it vanished quickly when he thought about why they couldn't be with each other more. 

"Me too. "

The blonde seemed to know what he was thinking and turned him around, hooking his thumbs into the belt loops of Tom's pants. Icy blue flared into his soft pools of muddied brown and azure. The first time they'd kissed, both had felt the magic that connected their very hearts and souls. Each of them remembered that moment as a permanent stamp to their minds. 

It had been on the set of their first movie, right after filming the end fight scene. Once it was finished, a look passed between them. They'd stared at each other for a moment but what could they do? Instead they'd gone back to their dressing rooms to change and within minutes Chris had knocked on his door. As soon as he opened it, the Australian had come in, shutting it behind him and pinned him to the wall. That kiss had been full of passion and longing after months of repressing their feelings. It was no surprise they'd became lovers that night but from the beginning both knew it was a hopeless path they'd stumbled on. No one would understand the way they felt for each other. So for the sake of their friends, families, and co workers, they'd kept it a secret. 

When the movie was over, the time came for them to separate, their careers pulling them in different directions until the Avengers then the Dark World. Every chance they got, the actors came together, but it hadn't been often. Eventually Chris met Elsa. That had been one of the most difficult things either of them had gone through. The blonde fell in love with her and Tom had been devastated. At the same time the Australian swore he loved his English friend more but they could never make a life together. He needed a 'normal' relationship. And so they decided it was for the best. But it was something the darker haired man could never truly accept in his heart. He was jealous of her and their family. Chris had encouraged him more than once to try and find his own wife but he didn't have it in him. He only wanted one person.

They continued to see each other even after his friend and lover had been married. It felt wrong, but they couldn't stay away. Their nights together were heavenly, giving them something they needed more than food, sunlight, or water. It was a love that nuroushed their souls and made them happy. Chris bent his head, finding Tom's lips again, as he pulled his hips closer with the loops his fingers were fastened to. The Englishman's breath caught and he twined his arms around the tapered waist across from him.

The blonde combed his fingers through the soft locks of dark hair, dyed for the role of Loki. Tom's sharp features caught the shadows and light, the dim illumination softening them. Chris stroked his cheek as they stared at each other. Sometimes it was all they wanted, to hold each other and look the way they wanted without worry. That only lasted a minute and they were kissing again, the Australian's beard rubbing against the smooth skin of the other man's chin and cheeks. Their hands began to roam, stroking along their backs, exploring muscles and planes. Soon their lips parted, staying close enough to breath the same air as the Englishman wished with all his heart they could spend every night like this.

"Did you see their faces at our cake?" the blonde asked with a smile.

His eyes were so gorgeous, small and blue like icy diamonds. His blazing white smiles were contagious and full of amusement, reflecting his love of life. Tom's heart melted and a smile formed on his face in response.

"We did an amazing job on dinner. If only..." he stopped, realizing what he was about to say.

Instead he gave a sad smile that his friend imitated. A big hand came to stroke the side of his hair.

"I know it might not seem like it, but I wish that too."

The actor didn't know if it was true or not but he made himself not care. Just the fact Chris had said it was enough. He threw his arms around the blonde's neck and kissed him hard, full of love and passion. The other man returned it, holding him against his body. There was always something right about this, the soft press of lips, the occassional flicker of a tongue, a soft moan from one or the other. The impending night hung over them like a curtain, promising more and better pleasures when they were ready. And as eager as they were, they always delayed the actual act. It wasn't long enough to sate their desire for every touch, every breath of time they were given.

"Have some more," Chris told him softly, pressing a glass into his hand.

The Englishman gave him a suspicious smile as he took it. 

"You know you don't have to get me drunk, right?"

His friend broke into laughter and gazed at him fondly.

"I like the way it pinkens your cheeks," he told him in all seriousness.

Tom blushed and made the other man smile.

"Just like that."

The dark haired actor's eyes closed as soft lips and rough hairs ran over his cheekbones. He knew how much the Australian loved his flawless, smooth skin. Just like he loved every inch of the blonde.

"Such a romantic," the smaller man teased, which made them both laugh again.

They knew of the two that Tom had the heart and soul of a poet. Chris was just a happy, playful work of art.

"Well, since I'm so romantic, I deserve some kind of prize. What did I earn?"

As he talked, the blonde had taken the glass and put it down, pulling him back into his embrace. He rocked back and forth slightly as he waited with a smirk on his face.

"You earn me not hitting you for that remark," the Englishman replied smartly.

The big chest rumbled under his own in a chuckle. Tom's cheek rested against his friend's body and they held each other for a few more moments, swaying gently together.

"We should get inside," the dark haired actor said quietly.

"Hmmm," Chris hummed against him, agreeing.

The separated just enough to walk, keeping their arms around each other. There was no question where they were headed and they bypassed the living room without a word. The men passed over the threshold of the bedroom and stopped. No matter how many times they did this, each time felt like the first. They wanted to explore, to learn more about each other. It didn't seem possible after all this time, but they continued to grow in their depth of understanding and love.

They faced each other, Chris's hands threading into Tom's hair as he caught his lips in a deeper, more passionate kiss. The Englishman's hands slid up the muscled chest, just the feel of hot skin under his palms making him want to moan. A faint flavor of wine colored their mouths as they tasted the sweet caverns, their tongues hard against each other. The slender fingers of the dark haired actor began to work on the blonde's collar button but slowly. They both savored every second of anticipation.

Breathing heavily, the Australian broke the kiss to caress his friend's jaw and work his way down the long, pale neck. Tom moaned softly at the warm lips on his skin, his hands starting to tremble as he finally released the first button from it's hole.

"You taste so good," Chris breathed against him, hot air washing over the sensitive parts behind his ear and moving strands of hair to tickle his nape.

The smaller actor had to grip the inner edges of the blonde's collar to keep from turning into a puddle at his feet.

"Fuck Chris, you're going to make me cum before I even get our clothes off," he whimpered.

It was no surprise when his answer was the barely faint whisper of a chuckle. They loved to push each other as close to the edge as possible. A large, warm hand cupped his cock through his pants and the Englishman thought he was going to faint.

"I don't mind," Chris said, his accent even stronger with lust.

The Australian squeezed him gently, rubbing a little. Tom thought he was going to explode.

"Stop, I'm serious," he panted.

He could feel the grin as Chris released him, moving all along his neck up to his ear to lick it. Knowing the torture wasn't going to end, he forced his hands to move faster, releasing the next button.

"You're adorable," the Australian breathed more hot air against his ear, causing him to shiver.

The blonde was finally satisfied with how far he'd taken his lover and used his strong hands to begin opening Tom's shirt. His heart rate accelerated at the thought of the beautiful pale skin over the toned and muscled body underneath. They finished at the same time and locked eyes as Chris's hands moved up to frame the narrow face of his friend. Nothing was said but heat flowed between them, sparking through the air. The larger man lowered his lips, tasting the sweetness of his love. His tongue slipped out to lick softly then pushed into the hot mouth. Slender hands gripped his shirt, the other man's lips parting for the intrusion. He loved the way he was welcomed inside and made sure to explore as much as possible.

The actors' bodies came together, hot flesh pressed against each other. It was enough to make them both moan at the same time. Somewhere in the flat was the sound of the air conditoner kicking on and the curtains moved slightly in the new flow. A chill ran over Tom's heated flesh and in response Chris wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him closer. Instantly the warmth of his body caused the Englishman to forget about anything else. The dark haired man broke the kiss, letting his lips to follow along the other man's jaw and cheek. He relished the feel of his beard against his lips and tongue. The Australian pulled back and gazed at his eyes.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you," Tom whispered back.

Immediately they came together in a fierce, passionate embrace. Their mouths fought for dominance and their shirts were pushed from their shoulders. The dark haired actor found himself being pedaled backward until his knees hit the edge of the mattress. Instinctively he sat down and finding himself at an opportunistic level, looked up with a grin as he started to unfasten Chris's belt. The blonde looked down with a cross of amusement and desire painting his features. It only took a second and the Englishman was unbuttoning then unzipping the pants underneath. He heard a sharp breath above him but that didn't make him stop. He leaned forward, licking at the skin under his friend's belly button as he pushed the trousers to the floor.

"Now who's playing unfair?" he heard chuckled quietly above him.

It sent a thrill through him to see the other man was already hard and straining against his boxers. Using his teeth, he pulled the top of them down, a groan of pleasure floating his direction. The Australian always had a small tuft of blonde hair at the base of his cock and Tom was glad he didn't shave everything. He loved to bury his nose in that soft hair and inhale the scent of this man he couldn't live without. It might seem contradictory but he made sure he was always hairless for their love making. He knew Chris liked him that way and he didn't mind.

Once the boxers were pulled past the point they would stay up on their own, he released them and lifted his eyes to the beautiful cock swaying over him. It moved gently with every breath or muscle twitch in the perfectly sculpted body. He licked his lips and heard the bigger man suck in more air. A sly smile curved his mouth as he looked up to see the anticipation in the handsome face watching him. The Englishman started by licking at the full balls hanging perfectly. He pulled one into his mouth and sucked gently, his nose rubbing against the hairs. Letting the sack fall from his lips, he nuzzled against the base of the hot member. His nose slid up the shaft and a soft curse left Chris's mouth. The other man's hands slid into his hair, gently stroking it.

Tom let his tongue flick out, barely touching the bottom ridge at the base of the head. The Australian's body jerked a little, laborered breaths sounding in the air around them. He brought his hands up to the muscled thighs, stroking the sensitive skin on the inside. His tongue came out again, this time to trace lightly around the whole ridge. He heard a grunt as Chris tried to control himself. He was pretty sure the other man wanted to throw him on the bed and take him roughly at this point. The Englishman let his lips slid over the swollen head and the hands in his hair tightened into fists.

"Fuck..." his lover breathed.

Neither of them had been with a man before that first night. Some of the things they did had taken time to get used to but none of it was unpleasant. And now he knew his friend so well, the feel of him sliding down into his throat, that Tom was able to take him in all the way, even if just briefly. He pulled back to breathe, the hot air rushing over the hard member. There were more noises of pleasure as he concentrated, using his tongue to sweep over the shaft then flick against it. When he reached the tip again, he sucked hard on it and Chris's knees almost buckled. 

That must have been the end of his lover's patience because he released his hair to pick him up under the shoulders and press him back against the bed. The Australian's feet shuffled as he kicked off his pants and underwear then the broad body was over him, soft lips pressing hard against his own. As much as the blonde enjoyed Tom's mouth pleasuring him, he enjoyed this infinitely more. There had been an unspoken understanding that he was going to take the Englishman and it had always stayed that way. Tom had never asked for anything different and he wasn't inclined to offer. It was possible he would consider it if the other man asked, just because he loved him and wanted to make him happy. Thankfully it hadn't come up.

For now he was going to experience everything he could. His lips were moist and swollen when they came down to the pale chest, licking along the lines of muscles and ribs. The breaths under his touches became stuttered, adding to his own passion. He lifted himself slightly and found a nipple to tease, his tongue sliding over the top then circling it. His lover cried out softly, gripping his shoulders. It just made him more insistent and he sucked on the nub, liking the hard feel of it against his lips. The Englishman's hips raised a little, his cock rubbing against the blonde's stomach through the material of his pants. Chris kissed back up to his mouth, nipping at the other man's bottom lip. The larger actor brought his lips to the perfect shell of an ear and licked it before whispering to his friend. 

"I'm going to fuck you so hard," he breathed against him.

They both loved dirty talk of all kinds. A long, low moan replied to him and slender fingers gripped his waist.

"You want that don't you?"

"God yes," Tom finally managed to choke out.

"Good boy," the blonde said with a smile, rubbing his nose against the skin right next to the dark haired man's ear.

There was a sharp breath and the other man raised his hips again trying to get some relief for his aching cock. Thick, rough fingers wrapped around the Englishman's shaft, pushing and pulling along the silky heated skin. The darker haired man inhaled sharply, needing the friction.

"You're so beautiful," the blonde whispered, running the pads of his fingers on the other hand over the pale chest.

His friend's back arched up into the touches making him smile.

"Chris, oh...I love you," Tom panted.

Slender hands held onto the muscled planes of the Australian's back, his breathing getting rougher and more ragged. Soft lips travelled over Tom's neck and collarbone, leaving an occassional lick behind. Chris stroked him faster, wanting him to release first. It always helped the other man to relax and make it easier to enter him. Pre cum leaked out of his cock as he pleasured his lover. The look on the Englishman's face was priceless, his eyes glazed, lips slightly parted and chest heaving. It always turned the bigger man on to see him like this. 

"Cum for me baby," he crooned to him.

"Chris, fuck!"

The blonde chuckled silently before sucking on a nipple again. In seconds Tom tensed, incoherent words leaving his lips as his body went rigid. Hot liquids hit the actor's flat belly and ran over his hand, giving him satisfaction at pleasing the other man. He brought his lips back to the Englishman's ear, kissing it softly.

"Good boy," he repeated, making Tom groan as a undercurrent of passion slipped through his body.

Chris brought his slick fingers to his friend's entrance, stroking the little hole gently. The dark haired actor smiled at him, his muscles feeling like warm butter.

"You always know how to make me feel good," he murmured to the blonde.

"That's because I love you," the Australian answered sincerely.

Their lips came together in a loving kiss, hot tongues licking at swollen lips. The bigger man slipped a finger inside the warm body. He could feel the tightness as it was fought instinctively but then loosened slightly. Just knowing he was inside the other man made his cock twitch anxiously. He couldn't wait to put that hard member in next. Slowly he worked his lover open, sounds of enjoyment cascading over his ears. Tom's hands began to stroke his skin, touching him wherever he could reach. 

They both moved slowly and luxuriously, taking their time. The Englishman started to get hard again, his hips pushing up and sending Chris's fingers in deeper to brush his prostate. Each time there was contact he would make a tiny cry of pleasure. When he was ready for more, he cupped the blonde's face, kissing him hard.

"Now Chris, take me now," he begged.

He didn't have to ask twice, the other man positioning himself quickly and taking out his fingers to push in the thick head of his member.

"Ah!" his friend cried, his fingers digging into the Australian's shoulders.

"Are you alright?" the blonde asked, slightly concerned.

"Yes, don't stop," the dark haired man panted, making him chuckle again.

Chris carefully entered him, making sure not to hurt his lover. When he was all the way in, he stopped for a moment, letting the walls adjust to his size. He brushed back the silky locks, placing kisses to Tom's face.

"You always feel so good," he praised.

"So do you," the Englishman answered honestly.

It was nice to know the other man enjoyed it just as much as he did. After a few more seconds, he started to rock his hips, gently moving inside and loosening the tight hole some more. Soon he was sliding in and out fairly well. Every thrust had their breathing labored, hands gripping at each other. A few drops of sweat rolled down his forehead and the Australian was only able to speak through gritted teeth.

"Are you ready for me to fuck you hard?" he struggled to get out.

"Yes, fuck yes!" Tom answered, rolling his hips up.

Chris groaned and began to snap his pelvis forward quickly. His balls slapped against the other man's body and they both writhed against each other, the feeling too extraordinary. Within seconds the blonde was cumming, calling out Tom's name as he filled him with sticky fluids. The Englishman moaned, loving the feeling. The bigger man grabbed his cock and pumped into him a few more times.

"Come on, before I go soft," he coaxed against the pale neck.

It didn't take long and Tom was squirting his thick juices again. Happy to see his lover join him, Chris collapsed, laying half on and half off of the slender body. They both breathed heavily, letting the afterglow settle over them. When they recovered, their bodies shifted until they were intwined, arms and legs around each other. They stared into both sets of beautiful eyes, smiles curling their lips.

"Sex with you is always amazing," Tom purred at him.

The blonde kissed him lovingly.

"I can honestly say you're the best lover I've ever had."

The made his friend's smile bigger and his eyes crinkled at the corners.

"You wouldn't just say that?"

Chris's shaggy hair that had fallen into his face waved as he shook his head.

"No, you know I wouldn't."

And the Englishman did know it. Both men grew quiet, only the sound of their deepening breaths in each other's ears. Moonlight poured in the window, making slated lights on the floor as they fell asleep in each other's arms.

********************************************************************************

Two days later Chris was sitting at his kitchen table, heartily eating his breakfast. Sunlight streamed in the windows and reflected cheerily from the white tiles on the floor as well as the light colored countertops. He took a sip of his coffee just as the sound of heels clicking echoed at him and he turned to see his wife, Elsa enter the room. The blonde gave her a smile and put an arm around her waist, looking up into her face. She didn't return his smile, in fact there was a look of sadness about her. He hated to see such a beautiful woman, especially the one he loved, in an emotional state like this.

"What's wrong sweetheart?"

She sighed and pried herself from his grasp, going to sit at the other side of the table. Her hands were in her lap, wringing together as she tried to find the courage to talk to him. He gave her a curious stare and couldn't help but feel something bad was coming.

"Chris....I know about you and Tom."

He was so blind sided by her statement, the look of confusion was actually real.

"What are you talking about? Me and Tom what?"

A brief expression of anger flitted across her face before she tamped it down.

"Don't play stupid with me. I know you've been seeing each other. It was a shock when I realized it of course, but I tried to ignore it. I didn't want to lose you and it 's obvious how much you love him. I can't do it anymore. You have to choose. Either you stop seeing him or I'm leaving you."

He wasn't sure how his whole world crumbled in the matter of seconds, but it did. The Australian couldn't answer, his mouth hung open and he stared at her, trying to comprehend what was happening. She seemed to understand.

"I know it's a lot to take in and a hard decision. I don't expect an answer until tonight."

Elsa stood to leave and he was on his feet in an instant.

"I don't know where this is coming from..."

She interrupted him abruptly.

"Don't Chris, just don't. You can't lie to me about this."

Her eyes were wet as she put a hand on the side of his face.

"Take some time and think about it. Really think about it."

He was left speechless again as she clicked her way out of the room. The blonde found himself weaving, ready to fall over and he had to grab onto the counter for support. She knew. Somehow his wife knew he was sleeping with his best friend. And now he had to pick one of them. The actor's heart was in turmoil. He didn't want to live without either of them.

When he felt a little more stable, the blonde made his way into their bedroom and collapsed on the bed. His mind was spinning, trying to find a way to make this right. There wasn't any middle ground, he had no choice but to hurt someone he loved more than himself. The only problem was, which one was it going to be?

******************************************************************************

The Australian found himself outside Tom's door, his stomach churning and his palms sweaty. He had to tell the other man what happened and he wasn't looking forward to it. The door opened and he saw the sweet face light up at his appearance.

"Chris, what a surprise!" his friend said happily, opening it wider for him to come through.

He wished he could share his joy but a heavy weight hung over his heart. The other actor didn't seem to notice right away, closing the entryway and turning to hug him. The blonde felt like his insides were being torn apart as he wrapped his arms around the slender frame and held him tightly. 

"Are you alright?" the Englishman asked, feeling something was wrong.

Chris didn't answer but took the other man's face into his hands and kissed him hard and passionately. He felt like a drowning man and this was his lifeline. When the kiss ended they were both flushed and panting, concern etching the flawless face across from him.

"What's going on?" Tom asked him.

He pulled his friend back into a hug, clinging to him as if he would never let him go. The other man allowed it for a few minutes but then gently pushed him away.

"Talk to me, damn it," he said in frustration.

Tears dampened his eyes already and his mouth felt dry.

"Elsa. She knows," the Australian choked out.

There was more he wanted to say but nothing came. Emotions passed over Tom's face from fear to disbelief.

"But how?"

He shook his head, not really knowing.

"Women's intuition? I don't have a clue. But she's making me choose."

The other man's expression turned to one of horror.

"How? How are you going to?"

The Englishman became pale and staggered over to his couch, leaning against the back of it. None of these scenarios would turn out good and they both knew it. That was when Chris broke and began to sob, holding his face in his hands. He didn't want to say what was coming next. His body fought it, his mind and heart fought it. Tom could only stare at him, waiting for either terrible answer. If the blonde picked him, he would have the loss of Elsa hanging over him for the rest of his life. If his friend chose his wife, he would lose the love of his life.

"I already have," the other actor responded wetly after a few moments.

He couldn't look at his friend, his lover and it was in that instant the Englishman knew. He'd lost everything. 

"No," he whispered in pain, managing to get around the other side of the sofa so he could fall into it. 

Tom heard the other man coming toward him but he couldn't see anything. To be more accurate he couldn't focus. His mind was in shock, not seeing, thinking or hearing anything for a minute. When he could function, he felt Chris's arms around him, holding him.  
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," the blonde continued to weep as his body shook against the smaller man.

"You said...you said you love me more.." he whispered, not sure what to believe.

"I know, I do, I swear. But I can't lose her and the kids. I can't."

It was then the actor broke and he let his sorrow out. They clung to each other, taking comfort in each other's embrace for what was sure to be the last time. Tears flowed from each of them, sometimes messy wet kisses were exchanged, until finally they were left drained. Neither wanted to let go, it was the act of finality that would seal their fates. It was the Australian that moved away first, shattering Tom's heart behind him.

"Please, don't hate me," he begged, seeing the look that came over his friend.

Green-blue eyes, hazy with pain, stared at him.

"I wish I could."

The blonde felt his stomach curl at that answer. It spoke volumes about the pain the other man was just starting to go through. That maybe it would never end. The sound of Chris's cell phone ringing crashed through the silence and he slowly pulled it out. Elsa was calling, he'd told her where he was going. He'd told her his choice already. Most likely she was checking to make sure he was alright. The Australian stood up, not wanting to go and not wanting to stay. Everything had changed and he didn't feel any better about any of it.

"I have to go," he stated simply.

There was no answer but it didn't escape him how Tom's chest heaved just slightly as he held back more tears. 

"If you think you can't handle it, if I can help at all," he offered, not wanting anything to happen to the other man.

He hated to leave him like this.

"No. Just go," his friend gritted out.

Chris wanted to say more, he wanted to beg even though he didn't know for what. Maybe for Tom to promise he wouldn't do anything rash? stupid? what was the right word for it? To alleviate his pain. The pain he'd caused. He suddenly felt like he was suffocating and the blonde couldn't stand to see the other man like this anymore. He stumbled his way outside and made it to his car. There he sat inside and just stared at the steering wheel until his phone rang again. He had no idea how long it'd been. It was Elsa and he answered it, reassuring her he was fine and on his way back. The actor started the car and gave a longing look at the apartment before driving away. It felt like he left his heart behind and only his hollow chest remained.

*********************************************************************************

The first few hours were the hardest for Tom to endure. His mind refused to accept what had happened while his heart screamed at him in endless suffering. He couldn't do anything, not move, not think, all he could do was stare in agony. It wasn't until this point that he realized all along he'd held onto the hope that Chris would eventually be his. That his friend would one day leave his family and come to him completely and fully. The blonde had certainly convinced him that he loved him. Now he couldn't know if it had been true or all a big lie. There was no denying the Australian had been pained by the forced separation, but that could mean anything. All he'd felt sure of crumpled in front of his eyes.

The next few weeks were a downward spiral. It grew harder and harder for the Englishman to function. He had to force himself to get up in the morning and was getting to work late every day. The actor had taken to smoking cigarettes again and more often then not drinking himself to sleep at night. Every night he sat with a bottle of liquer and a cigarette burning between his fingers as he stared at nothing. His friends and family were concerned and called him often but he assured them all he was fine. 

It was another endless day, another meaningless rising of the sun in his lost and purposeless existence when Tom had a knock on his door. His eyes shifted toward it, annoyanace coursing over him. People. All they did was pester him with questions lately. What's wrong? How can I help? It made him want to punch something. The knocking didn't stop and he rolled his eyes, pushing his body up and shuffling toward the door. He was in his boxers with a house robe on but it hung loosely from his shoulders, the front opened. The actor yanked it opened and had to cover his eyes at the sunlight that streamed in. When he was able to blink them open, he saw a figure that haunted his every waking moment standing there.

"Why are you here?" he growled, turning around and slowly making his way back inside.

The Englishman could hear the footsteps as Chris came in and closed the door behind him. He just made himself comfortable in the same spot, lighting up a cigarette. A ring of smoke rose up and curled around his head.

"Benedict called me. He's worried about you and asked me to come over."

Tom let out a snort.

"If only he knew who he was asking."

His eyes never went back to the blonde but he could imagine the look that came over him. One of of pain and regret, no doubt.

"He still believes we're best friends. Everyone does. Nothing's changed about the way I feel but I don't expect you to forgive me."

Agitately Tom waved his hand around.

"Well, you can see I'm fine. Still alive, no attempted suicides, going to work every day, what the fuck else does everyone want from me?" he shouted, slamming his cigarette into the ashtray and getting up angrily.

Chis didn't answer and he looked over at the other man. He was glad those gorgeous blue eyes were fixed on the floor. Looking at them always made his heart melt.

"You're hurting yourself and we can all see it," the Australian answered quietly.

A crazy sounding laugh burst out of him.

"You call this hurting myself? Cigarettes and booze? Fuck Chris. How many people do we know that live on that shit? You never gave them the little intervention speech. Trust me, all this.....all this you want to be high and mighty about...is keeping me going right now. Are you going to try and take that away too? Because then you might find me in the situation Benedict's trying to avoid. Do you get it?"

His voice was hard and cold, just like the reality he needed the blonde to see. And it must have worked because he could see the other man wanting to say so much more, but he only nodded to him.

"If it helps, then keep it. Just promise me this is it. Nothing worse."

He wanted to shout at him that he didn't have to promise him anything. That he didn't owe him anything. But that wasn't true. He lied when he said the booze and smokes kept him going. It was every night when he laid in bed and closed his eyes, the memories of them being together that gave him strength to go on. Memories that Chris had given him that were a gift. And he would always be in debt to him for that.

"Go home. I have everything I need," the Englishman huffed, falling back onto the couch.

The other man never said a word but left quietly. And as much as he thought that would bring him relief, it only brought emptiness. His hand closed around the neck of a glass bottle full of brandy. When he was drunk it was easier to remember.

**********************************************************************************

The Australian stood outside his friend's door, not able to move. He'd never seen him in such bad shape before. Tom had always been so optimistic, so full of life. His eyes were dull, without that sparkle he missed. Had he really hurt him so badly? That was a stupid question, he chided himself. He'd torn away their love. Their love had been the most precious thing in his life and even now he regretted losing it. But he had to at least try for Elsa. He had to make their relationship work, to keep his promises to her. He'd never promised Tom anything. And somehow that made him feel even worse.

*********************************************************************************

Chris found himself in his kitchen, staring at a bowl of cereal. He absently pushed pieces of the alphabet around in the milk, not paying attention to anything else. The blonde missed his friend so much. His lover. He'd been telling the truth when he said he loved him more than his wife. It felt like he was slowly dying from the inside at being deprived of his company. Three months had passed since that day he'd gone to check on him and he'd since heard from Benedict that after weeks of intensive support, the other man had been able to get Tom through his pain. The Englishman had finally cracked and told him that it was a broken heart that caused it, changing the story to a woman no one had ever heard of. From what he knew, his friend was back to almost his normal self. That made him happy but also made him miss him more. A hand fell onto one of his shoulders as Elsa put her chin on the other. He looked over at her and gave her a forced smile. She sighed and tossed her long dark hair over her shoulder as she went to sit on the other side. His wife crossed her arms over her chest and studied him for a minute. It made him uncomfortable.

"Good morning?" he said to her, trying to break the ice.

The beautiful woman just shook her head before hanging it.

"You know, I was really hoping that if I made you stop seeing him that we could make this work."

Chris's heart froze in his chest. He'd given up everything to be with her, how could she say this?

"What are you talking about? Are you not happy?"

She looked back up with a crooked smile.

"Happy? Mostly, sure. The hard part was watching you be so miserable. You realize we've only made love twice in the last three months?"

His eyes grew big as she said that. He knew it hadn't been much but he could swear it had been more.

"Is that what this is about? I can fix that. I've just been preoccupied."

He got up and went to stand behind her, massaging her shoulders.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to neglect you," he whispered, kissing her ear.

"No, Chris, stop," she protested, pushing his hands away.

He could tell she didn't want to stop him and stepped back, confused. The thin woman turned around to look at him.

"That's not what this is about. You love him, more than you love me. I can't stand to see you so unhappy."

"Elsa, baby, you know that's not true," he told her, stepping forward again, his hands out.

He couldn't lose her, he couldn't fail at this. It would mean he wasn't a man, that he'd failed his family. The Australian couldn't bear the thought of it.

"Chris, stop!" she spat out angrily.

"I'm trying to be decent about this. You might be able to fool yourself but I know you too well."

The woman he loved stood up and brushed her hair back from her face.

"This time I'm not giving you a choice. I'm leaving you."

The actor didn't know if he could handle this on top of losing Tom. He thought he was going to die. The blonde fell to his knees, grabbing onto her leg.

"No, please, Elsa, I'm begging you, I'll do anything," he sobbed.

"You've already done the only thing I could expect from you. I know you're not seeing him, but he still holds your heart. Stop trying to keep what we have alive and go to him. I promise, I won't keep the kids from you. We'll do this civilly and without drama. Ok?"

She reached down and tilted his face up, giving him a sad smile. He couldn't answer her but crumpled into a weeping mess. 

"I'm sorry you're taking it so hard. I have to go out and I'll be back later."

She might have been trying to act like it didn't bother her, but he could hear the tears in her voice. The blonde stayed there on the floor for hours. He'd lost everything. Tom would never forgive him and he didn't expect it. Elsa might not want this but she wouldn't change her mind. Double edged pain stabbed at him from both directions. But strangely, underneath it all there was a feeling of relief. Because as much as he wanted his "normal" life, he loved his English friend more than anything else. He wanted to be with him more than his wife. Chris just hoped he hadn't messed it up too much for them both to finally be happy.

The actor finally found the strength to move, his body sore and stiff from being immobile. He rubbed his arms and legs until they felt better and got dressed. As he put his clothes on, he had to fight with himself. His first instinct was to run to Tom and beg forgiveness, but he had a feeling that wasn't going to be had so easily. If he wanted to win him back, it was going to be hard. But he was willing to do anything to be with him again. The blonde had to think about it for a long, long time, but then he got his answer. Smiling big for the first time in weeks, he rushed off to put his plan in action.

*********************************************************************************

Tom was just leaving the showers on the set, hot water making the tiles warm against the bottom of his feet. He had a towel around his waist and was headed to his clothes when he heard some commotion outside. It wasn't the type that made you think there was an emergency, but it sounded big. Before he could even go over and peek his head out, Benedict threw the door open and stared at him.

"Holy shit Tom, you have to get out here. You are NOT going to believe this."

"What? What is it?" he gasped, trying to get dressed quickly.

His friend didn't answer but ducked back outside. Ever since Chris had left that day, Benedict had been practically a shadow, making sure he got better. What happened still hurt him badly and he couldn't get the blonde Australian out of his mind, but at least he'd managed to go on with his life. He'd even quit the drinking and smoking again. Finally dressed, he shot out into the other room to see what was so exciting. All of his coworkers were gathered around a huge TV and he was shocked to see Chris on there. 

"What is this?" he asked Benedict.

"Oh man, wait until you see this. This was playing live and you're lucky we were able to record it."

He motioned to one of the others and they set it in motion. Tom's heart melted at the beautiful face on the screen. He missed the blonde so much.

"Thank you all for coming, I'm sure you won't regret it," the Australian said to a group of reporters.

He was standing in a small room, surrounded by men and women with cameras and microphones.

"Can you tell us why you called the press conference?" a young man yelled out.

"Of course, that's the whole point, isn't it?" he laughed and the crowd chuckled with him.

"I asked you to be here because I have a very important announcement to make."

Chris's face turned more serious but still had a fun sparkle to it.

"My beautiful wife, that I love very much, has decided to leave me."

There were a few murmurs and gasps but it was clear they didn't feel that was such important news. The Australian held out his hands.  
"But that's not all. She left me because she found out the truth. That I'm in love with someone else. Someone I love more than I could love her."

Tom's heart and lungs seemed to stop working. He couldn't even begin to believe that this might be what he thought. What he'd hoped for all those years. The reporters grew louder, clamoring to know who it was.

"Can you tell us who it is?" one person called out.

"Were you cheating on your wife?" another said.

The blonde waited until it calmed down a little.

"Don't worry, I'm going to tell you," he said with a laugh.

It shocked everyone that he was so cheerful about such a bad thing happening.

"But first I need to apologize to him."

Chris looked straight into the camera and there was an outburst in the room he was in. Tom barely felt Benedict elbowing him.

"This is the REALLY good part," he whispered.

As soon as it quieted enough for them to hear him, the blonde went on.

"I don't blame you if you hate me for what I did. It was stupid and I made the wrong choice. Elsa left me because I was miserable without you. I need you more than air, more than food or water. I'm not going to ask you to forgive me because I don't deserve it. But I want you to know that I'm sorry and I love you. I just hope with everything in my heart and soul you can find it in yours to still love me and forgive me although I don't expect it."

Feeling they'd given him enough time to broadcast his personal apologize the people around him began to start asking who this person was again. Chris's eyes had grown watery and it was obvious he was being sincere as he'd given his speech. Now that he was about to give away the name of his love, his face brightened again.

"The man that I'm in love with, and always will be, is Thomas Hiddleston."

The amount of noise on the TV was surprising but the Englishman didn't hear it. He was in a state of shock, staring wide eyed and open mouthed at the TV. 

"A women eh? You should have known you didn't need to lie to me," he friend told him, hitting him on the back.

"W..what?" Tom stammered, not sure what to think.

He knew he should be angry with Chris for announcing their relationship on a public broadcast without even asking for his permission. But he just couldn't be. This was...this was his dream come true. Everything he'd ever wanted. The question now was, should he forgive him? 

*******************************************************************************

Chris was outside in a white tank top and blue shorts, loading boxes of his things onto a truck. He'd found his own apartment and was getting ready to move in. It only seemed right to let Elsa and the kids stay at their home. Their separation and divorce was going well, both of them treating each other decently. 

The news broadcast had been weeks ago and while he hadn't heard from Tom, the other man's family had called him. He'd been surprised to hear how much they liked the idea of the two of them being together. Benedict had also called, telling him about Tom seeing it on the television and then running off that day. At least he knew he'd heard him. 

The sun was shining brightly, making it warmer than usual. There was no breeze to break up the heat and he was starting to sweat, carrying heavy things around. The front door opened and he looked up to see his wife...ex wife...coming out with some lemonade. He gave her a grateful smile and swallowed down a glass.

"Thanks, I really needed that."

"Well.....I couldn't have you passing out on the lawn," she told him with a laugh.

He joined her then gave the glass back. There was a small awkwardness, both of them feeling different things. She smiled warmly and went back inside. Chris found himself not even staring at her backside like he used to. There was only one body he had any interest in although he feared he'd never get him back. He'd made his move and now it was up to Tom to let him know if he wanted him.

When everything was packed, he said good bye to the kids and Elsa and climbed into the driver's seat. Turning on the AC, he closed his eyes and let the cold air wash over him. Then he put the vehicle in gear and drove to his new place. The Australian pulled into the parking lot and found a good space. Then he turned the truck off and headed toward his apartment. He was digging his keys out and almost had a heart attack when he turned the corner and saw someone standing in front of his new place. It quickly turned to joy at the beautiful sight he saw.

The Englishman was wearing his always impeccable clothes, a blue dress shirt and dark pants, even a tie. His hands were in his pockets and he looked surprised when the blonde appeared. Chris wanted to grab him in a huge hug but he stopped himself. Maybe he'd only come to talk. He could just want to be friends and he would be happy to have even that back.

"Hey! How did you know where my new place was?" he asked him curious to find out.

Tom laughed and looked down for a second.

"I have my ways."

"Well do you..do you want to come in?" he asked, trying to sound as friendly as possible, holding out the keys.

"Ya," his friend said softly with a look full of meaning.

Unfortunately he couldn't tell just what the meaning was.

"Ok, great," he enthused, opening the door and letting them in. 

It was pretty bare in there, just a few pieces of furniture he'd brought by before.

"I think I have something to drink in the fridge, would you like a water or soda?"

"A water, thanks."

The blonde went to the new refrigerator and opened it, grimacing at how little he had. A trip to the store seemed to be in his near future. He grabbed two bottles and shut it behind him, bringing one over to Tom. The Englishman took it with a shy, grateful smile that made him want to kiss him senseless.

"So, you're probably wondering why I'm here," Tom said to him, his cheeks pink and making Chris's fingers twitch with longing.

"I have to admit, I'm curious," he answered with a nervous laugh.

There was an awkward atmosphere that hung over them but not uncomfortable. He couldn't expect any less. Blue green caught his gaze and their eyes interlocked for a second.

"I, uh, I saw your interview," the other man said, breaking the connection and taking a few steps away, opening his bottle and taking a drink.

Chris couldn't move, he just watched every motion, his heart starting to pound with anticipation. Everything hung on this and it could go either way. Tom turned back toward him with a silly grin.

"You really are crazy, you know that?"

The Australian grinned back and looked down for a second then back up.

"I guess I am. But I needed you to know the truth about how I really felt. What happened before..."

He put his bottle on the counter and stepped closer to his friend, taking his bottle from him so he could hold his hands.

"It was wrong and horrible. I don't know what I was thinking, I was just trying to do the right thing......"

Tom cut him off by placing a finger against his lips. Chris fought the urge to pull it into his mouth and suck on it.

"I know all of this. You're a good man and you were trying to do the right thing."

His voice was soft and full of something the blonde knew he didn't deserve. It made him love him more. He smiled softly and pulled him closer.

"Does that mean you forgive me?"

Just having Tom so near was a dream come true.

"Mmmm...not yet. You're going to have to work for that," the other man said with a chuckle.

Chris titled his head closer, their lips almost touching.

"I will work for it every day of my life, I promise you that," he whispered to his love.

The Englishman didn't answer with words. He removed the distance between them, kissing the blonde with all of his restrained emotions. It was almost a mirror of their first embrace, the longing and desire between them full of passion and fire. Both were breathless when it ended.

"I thought I would never have the chance to hold you again," Chris whispered to him, stroking his hair.

"You almost didn't. You're lucky I love you so much," the other man told him with the smallest smile.

He nodded seriously, his blue eyes full of sincerity.

"I am. I'm the luckiest man alive."

They shifted so their bodies were flush against each other, his arms tight around Tom's waist. He could feel the other man's erection pressed against him and was sure he could feel his.

"If you ever do anything to me again, I swear..."

The blonde cut him off with a kiss.

"I will never hurt you again. That's a promise I can make on my life."

He could see his friend trying to decide if he should believe him. But he wouldn't be there if he didn't, Chris already knew that. The Englishman's features softened and he smiled.

"My bed's already set up, did you want to give it a try?" he asked with a smirk.

Tom hit him on the shoulder but laughed.

"Hell yes!" he called, breaking free and running in that direction. 

The actor hadn't expected that but he wasn't going to turn it down either. With a loud noise, he chased afer him, hoping they didn't break his new bed. Then he realized, he didn't really care if they did.


End file.
